When you left, I lost a part of me...

I'm not doing well at all today. I think the cold and the lack of sunlight I got today had something to do with it.

I found out that I have significantly less money in the bank because my accompanist decided today to cash a check I wrote for her weeks ago. I left the house for the first time at about 9:40.

I went to Burger King and on the way there started crying in the car (not because of the money), but because Mariah Carey came on and I avoid her music at all costs (as Mariah Carey sings "We Belong Together" which makes me cry for OBVIOUS reasons -- see anything in this blog relating to Matt).

I realize that I'm just not on top of things like I thought I would be by now (what has it been three months now?). And as much as I want to, I can't devote all of my attention to the life I'm left with and the people around me. I just do not have it together. You would think that (and experience for me shows) I would be over this by now. But the song I avoid fits too well, and truthfully I evade it because it reminds me of how I really feel.

Jeff changed his hair, and I'm fond of it. I can tell he doesn't know what to do with me regarding the aforementioned situation. Zach's God-knows-where. I can tell he doesn't know what to do with me regarding the aformentioned situation. And they're both reading this, so my confiding in a journal is not really working well.

I'm torn apart again, and it sucks. Who am I kidding, I was never put together again. I hate to be dramatic, but I can't handle writing this journal entry so I'm going to leave it like this and finish crying.