This was a day that was supposed to make me feel good.

I'm starting to come to terms with the notion that I'm an extremely jealous person. I mean I can't stand for people I care about to be with other people, or to want to. I mean I can't stand for people to be consistently happier than me when I'm in this rut in my life (ok, so I need to annotate that I don't hate my friends being happy, more that I'm constantly not content). And much of my life is going smoothly, my love life isn't out of control, my REAL friends (as in the closer ones) are well and such, but little things will enter my vision and take me off the straight path I thought I was making.

For instance, I saw Matt (see prev. entries) in Rand today as I was walking by it. He was talking to some guy, and it really destroyed me to know that I couldn't say hi to him through the window. He would argue that it would have been perfectly fine, but from my perspective we all know that's just BS that would keep me on the emotional rollercoaster.

My phone was turned off for bills that weren't past due, and I had to wait on the phone while that was fixed.

It's cold. And I appreciate the warmer- than- Baltimore weather, but its still doesn't help my mood that a coat is necessary.

My room is a mess.

My white flower is wilting.

This guy on my floor is ignoring me OUT OF NOWHERE, and is becoming friends with Matt.

Another friend of mine had a guy over that he knows I don't approve of. And whether my opinion counts or not, the rule is you do that shit on the sly. This is classic Jerry Springer foolishness.

So, little things like that bother me.

But I did some sword-fighting and saw the funniest Family Guy episode I think I've ever seen yesterday, so it makes me believe that it might be true that its always in quality (not quantity) that the good days outweigh the bad days. And hopefully, the Jeffness can cheer me up, no pressure, he's just good at that. And he probably doesn't even know it lol.

I've just decided then, that I'm leaving the anger behind aforementioned situations here. You feel free to do the same. And I'm not picking up the anger again. You all have a blessed day.