a poem

Things said to me today:

Whatever helps you sleep at night, you
Why don’t you contact Stephen
Or jack off with Jeff
I hate who Ive become since Ive met you
You really are a bad person.
Im sure he brought up things before he left
There’s not a doubt in my mind that you haven’t done something with someone…kissed someone,
One day youll care about someone other than yourself and it will be too later
Stephen makes good money, I bet
I don’t see how you don’t see the devil inside of you
Like your mother

I'm going to conducting school!!!!

Writing from Stuart, DeVri and Emily's place. Middle of the day and I read this blazing hot quotation from James Jordan's book "The Musician's Spirit":

Be patient, therefore, brethren, until the coming of the Lord.

James 5:7

My father was a farmer, and he raised that most rare and exotic crop peculiar to New England, cranberries, a tough and exotic piece of fruit not given to easy entreaty or easy growth....

One day when we were in the garden and I was a young fellow, I told my father that I thought I wanted to go into the ministry. He looked at me, and he said, without changing any one of his attitudes toward his hoeing, "I always hoped that my son would do honest work." I knew what he meant. The farmer lives in proximity to two ultimate truths, which are held in balance by the authority of his own experience. Ultimate truth number one is that the harvest is the result of incredible patience, and ultimate truth number two is that the harvest is the result of incredible work. Yes, he waits for and hopes for the autumn and the spring rains, and there is nothing that he can do to induce them. That is where patience comes in. That is where relying on forces beyond one's control comes in. In that season of waiting, however, he is hardly idle, for the farmer does all the work that can and must be done, knowing that time and God alone will bring fruition to what he expects and assists. I have never known an idle farmer who is a good farmer. It is constant work, but the work is full of expectation and fueled by the labor of experience. The farmer knows that what is expected is worth waiting for. The farmer also knows that what is worth waiting for is also worth working for, and that is why the farmer is commended by James in this most practical of epistles. James is not writing to farmers, he is writing to a fairly sophisticated audience of people like ourselves, in having lost the use of their hands in the fields, are now held hostage to the fantasies and disappointments of their minds.

p.1, SERMONS, Biblical Wisdom for Daily Living, Peter Gomes

i may be in love, maestro...

Well, its been a long time. I feel I should update you on a few things:

1) I'm not working at Kairos anymore:
that's a bummer because I really enjoyed working with the people there. On the other hand, God is much smarter than I am, and the lack of work has allowed me to visit my home church and see my sister.

2) My sister's walking...
and learning how to play mind games. All the attention from us let's her clearly know how gorgeous she actually is. And she has learned this. On one hand she's cuter than ever, but she's dramatic to get exactly what she wants.

3) I'm going to grad school!!!
I've been accepted to the University of Michigan (considered by many the top conducting school in the country), which means I'll probably go there. Although, I had a great audition at the Westminister Choir College audition last weekend.

I flew to Baltimore and rented a car at 11pm. Mom and I went got home at about 12, and I went to sleep at 1. I woke up at FIVE AM to drive this rental car three hours to Princeton, New Jersey for my audition at Westminster.

I was so excited to meet Dr. Joe Miller (the newly appointed successor to Joe Flummerfelt) and got to meet him and the other candidates in a room filled with famous conductors that have conducted the Westminister Choir (Toscanini, Bernstein, Flummerfelt, etc...).

I walked downstairs and saw Adrian Rosas who I met last summer in Austria. He was auditioning his voice for the program (and had studied with Joe Miller at the Western Michigan University).

Anywho, he took his audition and I my meeting with Joe Miller and James Jordan (who Morten Lauridsen dedicated a movement of Mid- Winter Songs to) who seemed pleased and asked me about composition, jazz piano and religion v. spirituality. I played the Bach Invention in d minor and sang "Am Feierabend" from Die Schoene Muellerin by Schubert. After that I took a pretty easy aural exam, and a not so easy sightsinging exam. I got a 100, 100, 50, and a 95 in that order of difficulty.

I went out with Adrian after lunch to find a bar because we had a free three hours. I got a vodka cranberry at a bar and we left to buy a t-shirt (found out there's no tax on clothing in NJ). Downtown Princeton is beautiful. It's old small and it all borders the gorgeous Princeton campus.

After that, I conducted THE Westminister Choir. THE WESTMINSTER CHOIR!!!! I remember a couple things: I started by saying "Hello, my name is Glen Thomas Rideout. That's Glen Thomas for short, Glen for shorter. As you turn to the Sanctus, I'll say I'm from Baltimore, Maryland but I'm going to school in Nashville, Tennessee." I figured I'd want to remember that in 30 years. On the Sanctus, I remember cueing very little and making the sections stand every time they sang the primary theme motif. After that, I worked on the Libera Me, the Requiem with Soprano solo section. I had two minutes and I said to the choir that my goal was to get a ppp (Verdi's marking). I had the back row whisper while the choir sang. The point was to create a pretty spooky, foggy foundation for the floating soprano.

Well, the students complimented me at least, as well as Dr. Megill (who teaches there).

I'll try to do the Michigan thing next entry. My left fingers are sore...

La'el is crawling, standing, and superior to other babies.

I was in an opera (which was not an opera at all because no one sang) with Corey Ponder (who I know from Voices of Praise). It was the first rehearsal of the new semester and Dr. Shay emailed us that we would only be working on two scenes.

Well I get there, having practiced my two scenes from Tartuffe, and we start doing "A Christmas Carol" and everybody is aware of this but me. So I make up the lines and get the hell off the stage.

Corey has me make sure that what he's holding in his hand is appropriate to the character. I do, then walk off, then turn back and say: "This is just a rehearsal of two scenes right".

I swear, Corey's head starts spinning and he turns into a ninja. OK, he just looked at me like I was crazy and showed me the schedule that in fact we would be running the entire show. OK, if anyone knows anything about my level of preparedness for this opera, they'd pee themselves.

So, (not so) naturally, I fall into a stress induced sleep cycle and cannot wake up until I hear some weird Chinese instrument. I woke to Scurr playing his new China Tour souvenirs to his parents.

I want to switch studios again...Mama Shay, take me back!

DREAM:
So I was in Croatia last night, on a fantastically bright day. Everything was gorgeous marble and I was walking down a town street (no cars of course) admiring the architecture that was just blowing me away.

Beforehand I had just returned from a club the night before and was trying to take my friend to St. Mark's Church in a car with James (my mother's husband). My mother was at the club, so were cousins and friends of mine. The creepy thing is, I think my mom hit on me. I mean, she's beautiful but that's nasty. I think all the churches turned into Croatia cuz I was definitely in the United States beforehand.

In Croatia (walking the streets), though, I run into this guy at a bar with whom I had been talking online for a long time. OK, so somehow we just knew each other and started talking and trying to get to know one another. The last thing I remember is inviting Jeff to come sit with us, and a man in the center booth across from me giving me the thumbs up on my conversation style with this very attractive guy.

3 of 4 applications done...and my first orchestral score is in my hands. WEEEEE!!!

So last night, I dreamed I was conducting the Crunktastic Sound Express and, for some reason, had the group transfer rooms. As we were leaving the room, some very handsome guy walked in. I just remember wanting to have staying the room longer, so he could have seen my conducting (I would have tried to make it REALLY impressive lol).

Then, I went home to see my mom, and couldn't catch my flight back to school. I mean, I missed the thing three times. Somehow, my pastor from school wound up in my hometown in the car trying to catch the same flight. As we drove, all of a sudden we noticed this guy FOLLOWING US. So the fight to catch the flight turned into trying to get away from creepo in the dark colored car.

Alright, that's all I've got. That, and Stephen's singing at the Kennedy Center (no dream). How hot is that.

I'm applying to grad schools and still singing tunes from the orgasmic symphony concert last night...

All I remember from my dream last night is that I hit on a guy in a restaurant bathroom. He totally rejected me and I tried to save face by saying that I only hit on him because I was drunk (which I was in the dream).

This reminds me of a dream I never want to forget:
I was sitting on the patio at Pizza Perfect (as I used to do weekly with Nathan). This was during the time when gas prices were at their most astronomical. I looked across the street and the gas price was $5.49, but I saw that in military time (ok, as in I saw 17.49, but I automatically subtracted 12 dollars from the price - cuz in that world prices worked like military time).

Tower Records in closing and so I got three CDs for 50% off yesterday and forgot I bought them until a couple minutes ago. I bought some albums I already wanted (Tye Tribbett and Israel) and decided to take a chance on a Nashville choir. They've got an ok sound (alot more in tune than MANY other popular choirs), but the sound is STRAIGHT old school (like mid- 90s). It's cool to do that, but I think a choir should have a versatile sound (and they sound like their director doesn't step out of the mid 90s box). But like any album I criticize, I might just grow to love this album lol.